So, somehow, my original WordPress blog was deleted…all of those past memories and diary entries that were locked away from public scrutiny are gone. The poems, the times that I had wanted to preserve for future nostalgia, the words that God had spoken to me in times of distress – they are no longer.
And so I come to this point of deciding how to proceed. My hands have gone utterly cold (though from the natural inclination of Pitzer to be an ice box, or from this ice box where my heart used to be as a result of my old blog’s deletion), and I’m resigned to the fact that this has happened to WordPress users in the past, and there remains no option for recovery; what’s lost is lost.
Onwards and upwards, anyhow. While the things of the past have been removed from me, it’s aligned with how my perspective has slowly begun shifting to things of the future, and what God has yet to tell me as I listen to the narrative of my life unfold. There is a certain bitterness in losing the memories, but perhaps it was seeing past glory in my life that prevented me from pressing onwards towards what God desires for me (will always appreciate the message on pressing onwards at CAIW retreat). There is no circumstance that God has not been present in, and so, I must believe that this loss too will fade in the face of eternal glory.
On a lighter note, I had gotten so comfortable with being the “Poet in a World of Prose” that I’ve never needed to sift through my mental faculties in search of another alter-ego. All the worries of “my friends are going to judge me” and “this sounds so lame” definitely flashed through my mind as the authorial dials swiveled desperately, searching for what I could possibly use as my new first impression. I’ve settled on “a feather’s fall” because I believe that in light of what’s happened, it’s surprisingly accurate. It’s really quite difficult to predict the direction, the timing, the angles of a feather’s fall, just as it is futile to predict where my steps shall land next; all that remains is to enjoy it for what it is.
For all of my readers who’ve been following with dedication, I’m grateful for your support. I hope that God may continue to be glorified in what is inscribed on this digital tablet, and may He be pleased by the testimony that is borne.
The Ex-Poet in a World of Prose
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.”