I think it’s time for me to come clean. It’s taken way too long for me to realize how dishonest I’ve been in taking credit for what I write. The truth is, I’m not actually that great of a writer; I’ve been taking material from a friend and using it in all my works. I first discovered that this friend was a great writer in 10th grade, and I began getting to know him. Then, I asked him for a favor. I asked him to give me the words that he would use in his own essays; in essence, I asked him to write all of my assignments. No one knew that I was doing this in high school, so they all thought that I had suddenly become this amazing writer. The things “I” began doing with words were impossible given my background in English – low STAR testing scores, bad reading comprehension, and poor essay writing. I began taking credit for his work that he did on my behalf. It was interesting, really, because I began taking pride in the fact that I was getting these scores, not remembering that I was a mere low-life in my credit-taking plagiarism. The pride got to me, and I began to start expecting the good scores to come my way; asking was no longer an option, but a routine. Yet he wouldn’t mind, and he continued supplying me with his time and effort until the work was finished.
That friend is God. Without him, there’s no way that I could construct the sentences I even constructed in tenth grade. However, it wasn’t until lately that I began considering how much I actually glorify Him with my works. The pride in my own work after getting certain grades began to be disgusting even to myself. The praise that I finally began receiving for actually knowing how to do something well, by His mercy, began getting to me. Prior to this, I had been starved of encouragement and motivation to do work because of the constant pressure that certain people around me gave me; it was as if there was always a better result to what I had done. However, in writing, I finally saw the flexibility in it, how there is no better answer than the one given at the moment. And it was in those moments that God chose to give me words to put onto paper. It has never been anything of myself, but God’s working in me that allows me to finish what I am writing and not remember having written a single word of it. It’s been good practice for testing when I am in sync with what God wants of me in my faith as well; if I am striving, then I am not resting in His ability to overwhelm me and direct me. Often, the pieces that I remember are the ones that I struggled to squeeze out by my own aptitude and not of the natural flow that existed with Him and His guidance. So, I apologize for deceiving you all, but I am not the writer that you thought I was. However, if you’re interested, God is a much better writer, and talking to Him may lead to you discovering how He manages to be as brilliant as He is.