Being sick is perhaps one of the most deplorable conditions of a student’s life. There’s just simply no way to think, everything becomes amplified in its sheer ability to frustrate you, and each day that you’re sick is another day not worth being awake for. Sickness reminds you of how incredibly unreliable the body is. However, sickness also helps us appreciate the small things of our health so much more. The ability to breathe through your nose, hear things properly, and live life without the treacherous, constant shivering. When that one side of the nose that has been plugged up all day finally clears and allows oxygen safe passage through it, life gains an immeasurably greater prospect of hope. And then when the phlegm that has been plaguing your lungs finally is hawked up through the throat and out the mouth…the relief is unimaginable. But best of all is when the foggy veil of what-is-even-going-on is lifted and you begin understanding what is being said to you, and you can actually hold a decent conversation with the hapless interlocutor dealing with your mental languor at the moment.
The state of being sick does not exactly help one’s desire to read the word of God at all either. When the words seem dry sometimes in a state of thriving health, the mind has no desire to further bog itself down with the message of thousands of years. However, there is also the temptation of reading the Word just to try and haggle with God; my time spent reading Your Word for the healing of my sickness. I’m not sure how I feel about this situation when it happens in my own life. I feel guilty because I feel like I’m merely bribing God to heal me with an outward act, but at the same time, I am reading the Word and storing whatever message He has prepared for me that day. It’s a strange situation to be certain; one thing is for sure, it’s led to very interesting debates with Him about what it amounts to in the eternal race. Either way, healed or not, I pray to persevere in the reading of the Word so that I may at the very least be spiritually refreshed that day, even if my physical condition seems to antagonize me at every turn. There is hope beyond the suffering, joy beyond the tears.