There’s Just so Much to Say.

So, in keeping with my New Year’s Resolution, I am resolving to complete the minimum requirement for Week One!  I just noticed that I’m not sure if I’m counting this week as a full week, but that’s besides the point.  Before I say anything more, I would like to apologize in advance for how disorganized that I feel this post is about to be; I planned to sleep at 7:45 pm, but realized that it was not favorable to leave my last post for a Saturday full of plans.  Having said that, let’s cut to the chase.

Well, today was definitely a good day…up until the latter part of it.  I got to catch up with a dear friend whom I haven’t talked to in ages, and it was just blissful; the things we talked about reminded me why she is such a precious friend to me and what drew me to her in the first place.  We caught up about college and soon the talk got into future jobs and personality types/desires for those jobs and lots of other things, like agreeing on our stances with intellectual property laws :P.  Having finally settled the necessary pecking order in my heart, I found that the feelings I had during the catch-up were pure and that gave me much more peace than I thought. It’s good to finally have God be first in my heart.  After that, I had some lunch and then took Caleb, Levite, and Luann to Sycamore Canyon Park (which I never would have found out about if it wasn’t for Shemei! :D)  I just felt so bad for Luann, who really couldn’t enjoy much of Palm Springs since we were behind, so I decided to make it up to her by taking her here and it seems like it all worked out!  We explored an entirely unfamiliar route and got to mount a tree in order to cross a river and found a previously uncharted territory, where we skipped rocks (or tried).  Then after that, it was time to go home and Levite fell asleep on the car – I must be a great driver!  When I departed from their house, I went to pick up my mom and told her about the day’s exploits, to which she responded with a thinly veiled lack of enthusiasm.  I guess I must have raised my voice a little bit, because right after a few moments of silence, the torrent of inadequacies came; I now understand what it means when people say, “When it rains, it pours.” I did my best to stifle arguments, but I must admit that I was rather snide in my actions.  She’s been wanting me to put clothes into a box that I don’t want so that we can give them away, but I’ve always considered it a five-minute job, which it was.

However, the lesson I took away from this was that those of us who are blessed with the spiritual ability to “die first” should do so.  Note: to die first basically means to die to self and let Christ take over, although I’m not sure that I’m explaining it in-depth; I’ll probably write a post about it along the way this year.  I’ve lived with my mom long enough to know that she is not exactly the master of her temper, and knowing that, I should’ve died first.  And while I didn’t open my mouth against her after she listed out things she wanted me to do and claimed that I do absolutely nothing at home, in my head, arguments were brewing up.  I thought to myself about how it was called winter break for a reason and whether or not she actually believed that I deserved this break and how I put all the clothes in the box, took them out and folded them properly, went to get the mail, and feed the fish in under half an hour, but I realized how futile it was to continue this train of thought.  More and more, I’m realizing it’s not about right or wrong, but that – according to a word spoken in a conference a while back – it’s about life and death.  What brings life and what brings death?  In Matthew 10:39b, it says: “…and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” And isn’t this the truth? We as Christians are attempting to gain a full manifestation of Christ’s life within us, so why do we continue to live in the old man, which perishes, when the new man is what we are living for? It’s incredible how much God can reveal to us even through things as petty as a simple, one-sided argument with a parent.  But may we all have teachable hearts, always.


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